mommys thoughts

Since having Skylar so many thoughts and feeling go on in my head and heart. First, is my great appreciation for my own moms Kathy and Dianne and all of my friends who are mothers. I never knew how hard it can be and I regret not talking with them, being more supportive, listening to what they were experiencing, and thanking them for all they do and did. Second, I think a lot about this new found life as a mother. One thing I am struggling with right now is how do I know how I am doing. As a mom no there is no one to say if you are doing the job right or wrong, there is no way to know if what you are doing is good, right, ok. You don't have a supervisor, or artistic director, or choreographer, no boss to say do more of this or less of that, or even good job that was great. As a dancer, I am used to hearing right away good job or bad job, and as a teacher the progress of your students is some indication, and their words of feedback give you something to think use as a baseline for how you are doing. If I had just one day when a superior would say you did well today, wow that would help a lot. All I have as a guide is Skylar, but does that mean that her actions alone tell me if I did a good job, yikes. If that is the case, then for all the times I got in trouble sorry mom and dad it was not you. It is all a bit overwhelming and keeps me most of the night. I guess all I can hope for and give to her is what I think is the right thing and learn case by case. And as for feedback I think I will have to work on that first by telling my own moms how great they are and what a good job they did and are still doing, Thanks peek-a boo grandma, and Gwah. With all my heart thanks, hopefully Skylar is as lucky as I have been.