December 19th

A day I will never forget. First, having my mom and Jared's mom at the birth made it very special for me. Second, having Mary Lynn my amazing and wonderful Doula who got me through every exciting, long, and at times painful moment of the whole experience. To this day I can not stop thinking of her and how she touched my life so deeply. Third, having Jared tough it out through the process, with calm patience and stability, he was there quietly being present enough for me to feel the love but not too much so that I would have to yell or scream at him. And finally, for baby Skylar, who in one year has become my everything. My love, my best friend, my joy, my laughter, my sleepness nights, my worry, my fear, my blessing, my life. I find it hard to miss a single second of her life. Though at times I know I need it to regroup and find myself, I hate being away from her.

One year ago, everyone says it goes by fast, take it in, enjoy. But you truly can't image how fast it goes til you experience it first hand. I stand tonight watching her in her crib. Thinking how much we have been through in one years time together. From the first postpartum, baby blues weeks of fearing her and how I was going to do it, make it, figure it out, survive. To the next stage of trying to understand her enough to tend to her needs, wants and desires along with that feared time of night in which I would say, "God please help me get her to sleep." To tonight with some sense of peace, a little more confidence in my abilities, but all new fears and wonder. I can not believe how something so small can change your world so much. But she can, she does, and I am the luckiest woman in the world, for that I am thankful, and truly blessed. So to my baby love, someday you can read this and be reminded just how much your mommy loves you with all her heart each and everyday of your life. Happy Birthday my love!